10th Annual Mental Health Conference, Toronto.

Today I attended the 10th annual mental health conference in Toronto. The topic was understanding Concurrent Disorders in mental illness. There was also a broad topic panel discussion at the end that included stigma, homelessness and access as topics.

Concurrent disorders means the presence of a mental illness AND substance abuse problem. In Canada, you are the exception if you deal only with a mental illness and no addiction.

It was alarming to learn that this "concurrent disorder" model is only being brought to light as of recently, and that society continues to treat mental illness and substance abuse as two separate disorders. The proposed treatment described by Wayne Skinner, MSW, is to shift from the separation models to a more integrative approach, such as identifying the problem, assessing it, and then addressing the cocurrent disorder (substance abuse problem) without having to send the person elsewhere for treatment. According to Skinner, Professionals should first treat acuity (crisis), then chronicity (regular barriers to well being) and then finally address the complex interactions between a person's mental illness and environment. The third principle is not currently in practice in many hospitals and organizations. Instead, entitlement to treatment comes from how your problems are identified and classified, using the medical model of disease and no other hollistic, integrative or environmental approach.

A statistic you should know about: When it comes down to Bipolar Disorder specifically, a person will see, on average, 4 doctors before obtaining the right diagnosis. The other alarming fact is that they will have lived with the disorder a minimum of 8 years before a doctor finally gets the diagnosis right.

I also found it extremely alarming to learn how badly people are treated when trying to get help for their problems. Especially immigrants. The stigmatization in the community is awful. Also, humanistic characteristics that should already be inherent in a community worker or professional's character are often not present in their dealings with the mentally ill. Professionals often lack a trauma informed perspective to treatment. The are unable to identify or relate to an environmental trigger that may have caused this illness to appear. We forget to treat people like human beings, instead we see them as diagnostic models. (Skinner)
People are also stigmatized not only in their dealings with professionals, the community and society at large, but there's also an internalised stigma- a belief that we don't deserve to be well.
Society perceives people to be choosing to hurt themselves.
Staff training isn't working, as staff continue to stigmatize those who come forth for help. Programs for treatment continue to be badly designed.

Another stat i found really interesting is that immigrants tend to be healthier than north americans, yet five years after coming to America, their emotional and physical health deteriorates significantly.

i'm going to conclude what i learnt by stating what seeds have been planted by grass roots organizations, and what they hope to achieve in the near future

I understood from this conference that:

We often forget to look at social issues contributing to mental illness.
We often forget to look at systematic barriers such as racism, discrimination, socioeconomic status, trauma, langugage barriers etc. when attempting to treat mental illness.
We forget to look at the role of family in treatment.
We must NOT forget to treat those from different cultures with a culturally appropriate treatment plan.
We often forget to treat people like human beings as opposed to diagnostic models
People come to organizations by the time they're badly damaged, and we need a more preventative, holistic approach to treatment.
Barriers to service must be reduced for the homeless (when they dont' show up for their appointments, they should be forgiven, not penalised, for example).
We should move towards a more integrative approach when treating mental illness and substance abuse concurrently. (don't send people to another location to treat a concurrent disorder).

In order to promote change people in the community and health professionals

must continue to network, remain informed and educate each other.
must collaborate more and promote each other's organizations (grass roots or governmental).
must remember to deal in a humanistic manner with others.
must remain commited to changing the policies and practices of organizations that provide funding and placement to treat mental illness.
must build a long term relationship with the individual we are treating, acting in an empathetic, supportive and empowering manner.


...I'm glad to be able to share this with everyone who reads my blog. I feel it's a superbly important topic that needs to be talked about as much as possible, to promote change.

Dolphins Rescued in Newfoundland!

Seal Cove Newfoundland locals listened all week as Dolphins cried. They were trapped between ice, and swimming in circles. The town needed what is called an icebreaker only to realise that none was available.
Yesterday some of the dolphins had disappeared, feared dead. It was said that the Dolphins would not survive another night and so five people decided to take the situation into their own hands and use their own home made ice breaker to free the Dolphins. The five people put themselves in wet suits to brave the freezing cold and one man had to get into the water to help some of the weak dolphins. The dolphins just kind of wrapped their flippers around him, more or less like a friend.
I found this to be a very touching tale of bravery and kindness, on the part of strangers.

A beautiful place to...vacation?

My friend Lana has these pics of her in Santorini Greece on her blog. She told me to check them out and I couldn't help but post them as an idea destination for a romantic getaway.

No Words for USA's practices.

Quoting Matthew Good:

Let today be reserved for the words of Binyam Mohamed. Recently released from the detention facility at Guantanamo, he is back in the UK. Unable to face the media upon his arrival, he released the following statement through his lawyer, Clive Stafford-Smith. I urge you to read it.

“I hope you will understand that after everything I have been through I am neither physically nor mentally capable of facing the media on the moment of my arrival back to Britain.

Please forgive me if I make a simple statement through my lawyer. I hope to be able to do better in days to come, when I am on the road to recovery.

I have been through an experience that I never thought to encounter in my darkest nightmares. Before this ordeal, “torture” was an abstract word to me. I could never have imagined that I would be its victim.

It is still difficult for me to believe that I was abducted, hauled from one country to the next, and tortured in medieval ways - all orchestrated by the United States government.

While I want to recover, and put it all as far in my past as I can, I also know I have an obligation to the people who still remain in those torture chambers.

My own despair was greatest when I thought that everyone had abandoned me. I have a duty to make sure that nobody else is forgotten.

I am grateful that in the end I was not simply left to my fate. I am grateful to my lawyers and other staff at Reprieve, and to Lt Col Yvonne Bradley, who fought for my freedom.

I am grateful to the members of the British Foreign Office who worked for my release. And I want to thank people around Britain who wrote to me in Guantanamo Bay to keep my spirits up, as well as to the members of the media who tried to make sure that the world knew what was going on.

I know I would not be home in Britain today if it were not for everyone’s support. Indeed, I might not be alive at all.

I wish I could say that it is all over, but it is not. There are still 241 Muslim prisoners in Guantanamo.

Many have long since been cleared even by the US military, yet cannot go anywhere as they face persecution. For example, Ahmed bel Bacha lived here in Britain, and desperately needs a home.

Then there are thousands of other prisoners held by the US elsewhere around the world, with no charges, and without access to their families.

And I have to say, more in sadness than in anger, that many have been complicit in my own horrors over the past seven years.

For myself, the very worst moment came when I realised in Morocco that the people who were torturing me were receiving questions and materials from British intelligence.

I had met with British intelligence in Pakistan. I had been open with them. Yet the very people who I had hoped would come to my rescue, I later realised, had allied themselves with my abusers.

I am not asking for vengeance; only that the truth should be made known, so that nobody in the future should have to endure what I have endured.”

Pictures.

With 43 Million

5 million in the bank to live off the interest for myself and for my mother so she doesn't have to work *although she probably will knowing her. (250k a year).
A home and car for my mother, my aunt, and my brother, so they will all be mortgage and car payment free. A certain amount that keeps the house running, for each. (a maid for my mom for sure). Education paid for my brother, until he chooses not to go to school anymore.
I would make debt payments to anything outstanding, for the family, extended family and for myself.
I will donate to Cancer research where I know my funding will make a difference.
A home in Montreal (in Dorval on the water), home furnishings, and a car for myself, so I can also be mortgage and car payment free. ( i can return home easily if i don't have to work in Ontario)
A Trust fund for Candice so she may be able to study debt free.
A naturopath who will come in and cook meals that are only organic and healthy at all times.
I would take my grandmother to Greece.
Maybe get married in a non conventional way.

After i finish my masters:
I will travel to a few places i haven't seen *Asia, Africa, Europe.
I would adopt 2 children who desperately need a stable home. Maybe have a child or two of my own. (yeah yeah i know, Angelina Jolie comes to mind, but i have more class, i promise).
I would buy a house in Greece on the water, and a condo in San Diego.
A boat in Montreal and one in San Diego.
I would consult with an experienced philanthropist to find out just what Africa needs (i think it would mean building schools).
and visit, then donate.
I will spend the free time i have now that i never have to work again, in making a difference in the lives of others, and don't forget learning to surf. :)

A little this and a little that

I have finished my exams and now have a few weeks off. I'm excited to find out how i did, because a lot of effort went into the last three weeks of studying and writing.
I feel a bit sad today, but i'm getting used to the feeling as it happens every time i leave Montreal.
It was a lightning fast trip, enough to see my mom grandmother and great aunt, Candice and Jessica. Oh and to buy a few lottery tickets as the lottery is worth over 45 million dollars this week. I never buy lottery tickets, but it's hard to resist when everyone is doing it and talking about it :)
It's always nice to dream, and so i wrote down a few things i'd do it if i won 43 million dollars... check my next post to see what they are.
We drove through a snowstorm and major traffic in a hybrid synergy car, without winter tires, on the way in: that was no fun at all. The usual 5 hour drive, took seven and a half. Remind me to stick to the train next time. I was thinking of how much I dislike Toronto really, and how Montreal will always be home. I'm not sure if I would dislike Toronto as much if it was closer to home, but i'm pretty sure I still would. It isn't about distance really, although that really doesn't help. It's really about how different the city is compared to what i'm used to. I of course, don't mind the English vs. French, but would much rather the city had more soul. Friendlier people and better drivers would help a lot.
I guess one day i will either get used to it or run back closer to home.
On a simpler note, i bought rx reading glasses and i think they're cute on me. I will post a pic shortly.
This week will be "spring" *hey one can hope and dream*, cleaning and getting ahead with school work. I may visit a museum or art gallery in Toronto, to give the city a fighting chance at warming my heart. :)

February Randoms

Our Protectors

A child is a fully dependent life form. Sometimes a child's protector is their mother and father, sometimes circumstances result in their feelings of safety coming from another family member, close friend, and/or an animal. I know that my mother, grandmother, great aunts, aunt and even my dog, were my protectors as a child.
No matter how old that child gets, their sense of security remains intertwined with their protectors. A child, no matter how grown up, will never feel truly safe without knowing that the people that were their protectors when they were little, are out there, available and well. I have been having much anxiety lately thinking of my protectors and the future. (especially my dog) but i try to remember that memories will carry me through and my heart will be filled with thoughts of happy times, throughout my lifetime
My friend Adam received some heart breaking news about one of the primary people that makes him feel safe in the world, and I can only imagine the struggles he may have to go through to achieve peace and a feeling of security again, in the future. I feel very helpless and frustrated that this is not a problem that can easily be solved and can only trust that the doctors will do everything possible.
I cannot begin to imagine how one copes with such a struggle, but I can only try to honour it, by appreciating what i have, who i am and my health, and to avoid being attracted to material things, in every day life.
I know that life is so fragile, and even minutes in time are precious. The cliche of living life to the fullest is really not to be taken for granted.
My thoughts are with Adam and his family at this difficult time.

Ron Paul. Worth Reading

What if we wake up one day and realize that the terrorist threat is a predictable consequence of our meddling in the affairs of others?

What if propping up repressive regimes in the Middle East endangers both the United States and Israel?

What if occupying countries like Iraq and Afghanistan – and bombing Pakistan – is directly related to the hatred directed toward us and has nothing to do with being free and prosperous?

What if someday it dawns on us that losing over 5,000 American military personnel in the Middle East since 9/11 is not a fair trade-off for the loss of nearly 3,000 American citizens, no matter how many Iraqi, Pakistani, and Afghan people are killed or displaced?

What if we finally decide that torture, even if called “enhanced interrogation techniques,” is self-destructive and produces no useful information – and that contracting it out to a third world nation is just as evil?

What if it is finally realized that war and military spending is always destructive to the economy?

What if all wartime spending is paid for through the deceitful and evil process of inflating and borrowing?

What if we finally see that wartime conditions always undermine personal liberty?

What if conservatives, who preach small government, wake up and realize that our interventionist foreign policy provides the greatest incentive to expand the government?

What if conservatives understood once again that their only logical position is to reject military intervention and managing an empire throughout the world?

What if the American people woke up and understood that the official reasons for going to war are almost always based on lies and promoted by war propaganda in order to serve special interests?

What if we as a nation came to realize that the quest for empire eventually destroys all great nations?

What if Obama has no intention of leaving Iraq?

What if a military draft is being planned for the wars that will spread if our foreign policy is not changed?

What if the American people learn the truth: that our foreign policy has nothing to do with national security and that it never changes from one administration to the next?

What if war and preparation for war is a racket serving the special interests?

What if President Obama is completely wrong about Afghanistan and it turns out worse than Iraq and Vietnam put together?

What if Christianity actually teaches peace and not preventive wars of aggression?

What if diplomacy is found to be superior to bombs and bribes in protecting America?

What happens if my concerns are completely unfounded – nothing!

What happens if my concerns are justified and ignored – nothing good!

Volunteering

I have been spending a lot of time with my good friend from high school, Vino. She has recently graduated from the sciences at York and was recounting some of the research she has done. We were discussing Masters programs and how to get in, and i was reminded of the need to have experience in my field. I have volunteered since the age of 12, but I don't think it will be relevant at the end of my school. So I started searching back in November for a volunteering opportunity, as the school was on strike. I had found one at the Sick Kids hospital but wasn't sure if it was a position i could handle. It's one thing to treat children with mental illness, but quite another to be surrounded with terminally ill children all the time. I have since been contacted by a crisis hotline that deals with people in distress and feel that is more what i am experienced with and can handle, emotionally. I will train with them after the interview process, if everything goes well, and start volunteering about 2 hours a week. I can't wait to gain some valuable experience working with the public. I have also decided that Franky and I will probably call Ottawa home in the end, if we both can find work, as I still have a hard time adapting to Toronto.
Ottawa is just so much closer to "home" and is an all around healthier city (which may not work in my favour in the end so we'll see). I'm getting ahead of myself here...but i've always been one to like to make plans and explore all the options.

Exam Time

It's exam time! While everyone else studies for mid terms, i'm studying for fall finals.
I have to be pretty studious over the next few weeks and so i'm sitting at my desk for about 12 hours a day.

A Cabin in the Woods Part 2!

A Cabin in the Woods. Part 1.

The Big Bang Theory (TV Show) 5

'The Big Bang Theory' Quotes

I regularly watch a fantastic show called, "The Big Bang Theory" (there are some clips at the bottom of the page) and I wish to share some of the brilliance.

You have about as much chance of going out with Penny as the Hubble Telescope has of finding that at the center of each black hole there's a little man with a flashlight trying to find the circuit breaker.
-Sheldon

I just know that moving all day can be stressful and I just thought that good neighbors and some Indian food might be just what you need... plus, curry is a natural laxative and I don't need to tell you that a clean colon is one less thing to worry about.
-Leonard

Oh, well, this would be one of those circumstances that people unfamiliar with the law of large numbers would call a coincidence.
-Sheldon

[discussing Sheldon's work] At least I didn't have to invent 26 dimensions to get the math to work.
-Leonard
I didn't invent them. They're there.
-Sheldon
Yeah? In what universe?
-Leonard
In all of them, that's the point!
-Sheldon

Oh, Raj was just comparing Sheldon to a hygiene product used by women who are not feeling fresh on a summer's eve.
-Howard
And the bag it came in.
-Penny

This car weighs, let's say, 4,000 pounds. Now add 140 for me, 120 for you...
-Sheldon
120?!?
-Penny
Oh, I'm sorry. Did I insult you? Is your body mass somehow tied into your self worth?
-Sheldon

You know what's interesting about caves, Leonard?
-Sheldon
What?
-Leonard
Nothing.
-Sheldon

Now, you listen here. I have being telling you since you were four years old, it's okay to be smarter than everybody but you can't go around pointing it out.
-Mary
Why not?
-Sheldon
Because people don't like it. You don't remember all the ass kickings you got from the neighbor kids. Now lets get cracking. Shower, shirt, shoes and let's shove off.(Mary leaves the room)
-Mary
There wouldn't have been any ass kickings if that stupid death ray had worked.
-Sheldon

This is the best cobbler ever!
-Penny
You know what the secret ingredient is?
-Mrs. Cooper
Love?
-Penny
Lard.
-Mrs. Cooper

Leonard: We need to widen our circle.
Sheldon: I have a very wide circle. I have 212 friends on myspace.
Leonard: Yes, and you’ve never met one of them.
Sheldon: That’s the beauty of it.

Penny: I’m a Sagittarius, which probably tells you way more than you need to know.
Sheldon: Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun’s apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.
Penny: (puzzled) Participate in the what?

I’ve spent the past three-and-a-half years staring at greaseboards full of equations; before that, I spent four years working on my thesis; before that, I was in college; and before that, I was in the fifth grade.
-Sheldon

Sheldon: Leonard! Leonard!
Leonard: What, what’s the matter?
Sheldon: My equations! Someone’s tampered with my equations!
Leonard: Are you sure?
Sheldon: Of course I’m sure. Look at the beta function of quantum chromodynamics–the sign’s been changed!
Leonard: Yeah…but doesn’t that fix the problem you’ve been having?
Sheldon: Are you insane? Are you out of your mind? Are you–hey, look, that fixes the problem I’ve been having!

(Penny asking if she can spend the night on Sheldon and Leonard's couch)

Leonard: Are you suggesting that if we let Penny stay, we might succumb to cannibalism?
Sheldon: No one ever thinks it’ll happen until it does.
Leonard: Penny, if you promise not to chew the flesh off our bones while we sleep, you can stay.
Penny: What?

Leonard: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Every Saturday since we’ve lived in this apartment, I have awakened at 6:15, poured myself a bowl of cereal, added a quarter-cup of 2% milk, sat on this end of this couch, turned on BBC America, and watched Doctor Who.
Leonard: Penny’s still sleeping.
Sheldon: Every Saturday since we’ve lived in this apartment…
Leonard: You have a TV in your room, why don’t you just have breakfast in bed?
Sheldon: Because I am neither an invalid nor a woman celebrating Mother’s Day.

(Leonard as to he and Penny's future)

Leonard: Our kids will be smart and beautiful.
Sheldon: Not to mention imaginary

(later)

Leonard: I'm a male, and she's a female.
Sheldon: But not of the same species.

How can she take your order when you're too neurotic to talk to her?
-Howard

That boy has been trouble since the day he fell out of me at K-Mart.
-Sheldon's mother

Leonard: A Homo habilis discovering his opposable thumbs says what ...
Kurt: What?
Leonard & Sheldon laugh

Now I fixed chicken. I hope that's not one of those animals you people think is magic.
-Sheldon's mother to Raj

Penny: Hey, if you guys need a fourth, I'll play.
Leonard: Great idea!
Sheldon: Uh, no. The wheel was a great idea. Relativity was a great idea. This is a notion, and a rather sucky one at that.
Penny: Why?!
Sheldon: Why? Oho, Penny, Penny, Penny.
Penny: Oho, what, what, what?
Sheldon: (as Penny picks up the controller) This is a complex battle simulation with a steep learning curve. There are a myriad of weapons, vehicles, and strategies to master, and not to mention an extremely intricate back story.
Penny: (explosion from the TV) Oh, cool! Whose head did I just blow off?
Sheldon: Mine.

I don't know how, but she is cheating! Nobody can be that attractive and this good at a videogame.
-Sheldon (about Penny)

You know, Penny, we make such a good team, maybe we could enter a couple of Halo tournaments sometime.
-Leonard
Or we could just have a life.
-Penny

Penny: (barges into apartment) Hey, guys! My friends and I got tired of dancing so we came over to have sex with you.
(The guys continue playing Halo)
Penny: Told ya.(Penny and her friends leave)
Sheldon: Why did you hit pause?
Leonard: I thought I heard something.
Raj: What?
Leonard: No, never mind.

If you don't like this Christy, why are you letting her stay?
-Leonard
Well, she was engaged to my cousin while she was sleeping with my brother, so she's kind of family.
-Penny

There's my Little Engine that Could.
-Christy
(Howard and Christy make out)
Well, there's one beloved children's book I'll never read again.
-Sheldon

Penny: Wait, Sheldon come back. You forgot something.
Sheldon: What?
Penny: This plasma grenade.(Explosion sound on the tv)
Penny: Ha. Look it's raining you.
Sheldon: You laugh now, but wait till you need tech support.

Leonard: I didn't like the look of the guy she was with.
Howard: Because he look better than you?
Leonard: Yeah. He was kind of dreamy
Sheldon: At least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her and analyze the data so that you don't crash into geek mountain again.

So, how did it go with Leslie?
-Sheldon
We tried kissing but the earth didn't move. I mean any more than the 383 miles it was gonna move anyway.
-Leonard

I'm a perfectly nice guy! There's no reason we couldn't go to the restaurant and have a lovely dinner. Maybe we could go for a walk afterwards, talk about things we have in common: You love pottery? I love pottery! There's a pause-we both know what's happening-I lean in and we kiss; it's a little tentative at first, but then I realize she's kissing me back and she's biting my lower lip, you know? She wants me! This thing is going the distance, we're going to have sex! Oh, God, oh my GOD!
-Leonard
[Leonard descends into a panic attack]
Is the sex starting now?
-Sheldon

Love is not a sprint, it's a marathon. A relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms. Or hits you with the pepper spray...
-Howard

Howard: Sheldon, if you were a robot, and I knew and you didn't, would you want me to tell you? Sheldon: That depends. When I learn that I'm a robot, will I be able to handle it?
Howard: Maybe, although the history of science fiction is not on your side.
Sheldon: Uh, let me ask you this: when I learn that I'm a robot, will I be bound by Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics?
Raj: You might be bound by them right now.
Howard: That's true, have you ever harmed a human being, or through inaction, allowed a human being to come to harm?
Sheldon: Of course not.
Raj: Have you ever harmed yourself or let yourself to be harmed except in cases where a human being would've been endangered?
Sheldon: Well, no.
Howard: I smell robot.
(Leonard walks in)
Leonard: What's going on around here?
Sheldon: The internet's been down for half an hour.
Raj: Also, Sheldon might be a robot.

Tonight I spice my meat with goblin blood!
-Raj

There is no more Sheldon, I am the Sword Master!
-Sheldon

Howard: There are pitfalls, trust me, I know. When it comes to sexual harassment law I'm bit of a self taught expert.
Leonard: Look Howard if I were to ask Leslie Winkle out it would just be for dinner. I'm not gonna walk into the lab, ask her to strip naked and dance for me.
Howard: Oh, then you're probably OK.

(Leonard hits his head under the table at the restaurant)
Penny: Are you OK ?
Leonard: Yeah, I'm OK... Did you spill ketchup ?
Penny: No.
Leonard: I'm not OK!


Sheldon: So? How was your date?
Leonard: Awesome!
Sheldon: Score one for liquor and poor judgment.

The Joshua Tree

My two favourite songs this week, from the 80's and 90's music lineup:

Running to Stand still. U2 the Joshua Tree.
Amazing, Aerosmith.
Sunglasses at night-Corey Hart

my grandma and the OC

On a light note: Today I was watching the OC while exercising, as nothing much else was on (and I enjoy Adam Brody's character a great deal). It was an episode about Jewish holidays and traditions.
Rachel Bilson, Adam Brody's tv girlfriend, isn't Jewish but is trying to learn some of the terms for the holidays. She is endearingly mispronouncing words, and he is correcting her, as she tries to read from a book of traditions. My grandma dated a Jewish man for many years and I know identifies herself as more Jewish than Greek at this point in her life. (I mean no disrespect to her late husband, my grandfather who tragically passed away at a young age, and was Greek) All I mean is that my grandma's inherent character has always been slightly more Jewish than it is Greek. All that to say, I now understand that some of the terms my mother has used over the years have been passed down by my grandma and her double agent identity. :)

catching up

My blog is mainly for my family to read how i'm doing, and maybe a few others who have caught on that i keep an internet journal. I find sometimes i can be rabidly self involved, sometimes i sound immature, shallow or too emotional. I guess that's what it's like to have a public space. You end up being slightly concerned about the image of yourself that you're portraying. I know that my family loves me unconditionally, and I know that deep down I am kind and good, so i shouldn't worry, but in comparison to others blogs, i find that i am not so creative, and not so dynamic in my writings. I often write about family, and personal relationships, and most that know me know that my connections with others are of extreme importance to me. I try to keep up with the daily news, geopolitics, etc. but sometimes the news just gets depressing. My daily grind isn't so interesting either, as it consists of a lot of exercise, some house cleaning, school and study. I am writing a research paper worth most of my grade, and that's taking a lot of time. I find myself wondering what to say sometimes. Tonight is one of my late nights, and I am up reflecting on all sorts of things. A few concerns worth noting..in no particular order.
getting back on a normal schedule now that school has resumed.
the terribly cold weather making it extremely dry and uncomfortable to sleep.
The bay cutting jobs, as i think of my mom's company and her job security. I know my mom has provisions she woudl rather not rely on, because it would mean regressing in a sense, and i really hope it doesn't come to this.
Franky being at a new company in these challenging times, as i think of his job security. I know he defines himself by his career, and pray that nothing happens to him.
My friend Adam who is going through personal issues and who i have a great deal of respect for. I wish him nothing but the best and wish I could do more to help.

Positives:

Old 90's music that keeps my spirits up
My training schedule that keeps my spirits up
My hard work and recent grasp of the paper worth most of my mark.
Kyle that may actually be visiting in February so i don't have to face my fear of flying by taking a long trip alone.
Good friends, good family, as always.

Night night.