The nature of Freedom

The Nature of Freedom:
Freedom is never a release and always a responsibility.
Freedom is not fun. It is not the same as individual happiness, nor is it security or peace or progress. It is responsible choice. Freedom is not so much a right as a duty. Real freedom is not freedom from something; that would be license. It is freedom to choose between doing or not doing something, to act one way or another, to hold one belief or the opposite. It is not “fun” but the heaviest burden laid on man: to decide his own individual conduct as well as the conduct of society and to be responsible for both decisions. (Quote from, “The Freedom of Industrial Man”)

School is killing me

I need a few days to finish papers and prepare for tests, so i won't be blogging much. 

Hopefully i'll have some interesting research to post after it's all over with.

Stay tuned.

Ipod Update!

My ipod has been replaced by the Apple Genius man.  I have a brand new Ipod even though I probably didn't take the best care of it. (I actually tried very hard this time, buying a case and a protective cover and keeping it out of the rain!). 

He mentioned that in the future I should avoid allowing crumbs to accumulate in the ear phone jack, but didn't say much else.

La plus ca change.....

(The more things stay the same).

:)

The age old debate.

I did many calculations based on the price differences, esthetics, functionality, simplicity, stability and overall worth of a pc desktop vs an imac... I still couldn't bring myself to buy a PC. 

There is probably nothing wrong with PC if you use it right, and I usually do. *I buy most of my music, rarely download and never accept files from unknown sources, but I still couldn't do it. 

I'm a brat. 

Meh, a very happy brat at the moment.

:)

Worth mentioning is that Paul Newman died tonight, and although I did not know much of him, there are many who do, and I learnt a bit this evening that made me respect him a lot, especially knowing that he was a celebrity and could have very well justified behaving like one. 

His personal life including his 50 year marriage, charity work, and the way he dealt with his fame, is quite rare. The world just lost a good man, as far as I'm concerned.

I was thinking today, of voting in Canada's federal election, and shame on me, I never have before. I will have to do a lot of fast research to figure out who is the candidate most likely to reflect my values, running in Toronto.

I am writing a research paper on learning disabilities and have come across some very interesting information that I will soon share...stay tuned. 

Back to Criminal Minds! (I have to say Season 3 has been exceptional and I can't wait to get caught up to watch Season 4 that is airing now). 

Night. 

Sweet Indulgence!

Here is my new MAC DESKTOP! (Thanks to all who helped me decide!). 

Sideways...

another sideways...

Mona and I in Vegas

There's my heart....

Suicide Rate and Animal Cruelty in Quebec

Here's another very sad story:

http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Canada/2008/09/26/6896636-cp.html

Not only is Quebec's suicide rate the highest in North America, it has the WORST animal cruelty laws that are rarely enforced, hundreds of puppy mills that are rarely shut down, and the most documented cases of animal abuse by adopters. It's revolting. Sorry for the sad news.

A 12 hour day

I've been running like a headless chicken since seven thirty am. I know this isn't a very early hour to most, but I'm a night owl and I doubt it will ever change. School, Gym/Pool, House Cleaning, Showering, Banking* (more to come),

Class today was great... here's a link to something we discussed

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbia/story/2008/09/26/bc-mohter-tasered-vancouver.html

The fact that the mother was a 16 year old girl and the police could not get her to let go of her child without using a Taser, confuses me.

Another very important point is that if the child had a critical illness, how come the Police had 3 hours to discuss the situation with the mother and try to persuade her to give up her child before taking the child to emergency? I understand that it must have been an emotionally charged situation, but the facts don't totally add up....

York has an incredible fitness facility and pool, and all students get to use it for 10 dollars a year, so that's just what i did today. I swam and ran for an hour and did some weights... It was great!
This setup in Toronto has been extremely helpful to my continued success at school. The job is great, my roomate is great, i'm in a great location central to both school and work, there is a gym at work and one at school and my motivation is high...

As for this banking incident...

*I had to withdraw a sum of money to pay my credit card today (I like to pay it so that the funds are unfrozen right away) and set out to find a Royal Bank branch. Note to self: never ever leave home without first consulting Branch Locator! I spent 1 hr driving around the city looking for a Royal Bank and finally found one after almost giving up, and not before finding SEVEN TD canada Trusts and 6 Bank's of Montreal on the same street! Ten points for Td Canada Trust! I was very close to going "green" today. Obviously Royal Bank has something against Bloor St. ARGH. :)

Lastly, I managed to find this Cleanse thing previously referred to, for (previously) mentioned loved one and then stood in an agonizingly long line to have it mailed priority! I hope said loved one enjoys the cleanse! :)

Andrea is making home made bread! This I must see! Gotta go!

not too much to say..

Finally the work week is over...Now for the school week :(
I don't have too much to say today, nothing really whitty or new.
Sorry to anyone expecting something great, I am going to get a good night's rest and be back tomorrow :)

Spadina and Dundas looks like downtown China....

I'm really not kidding. No defensive driver would ever make it through this intersection without waiting a half an hour. No rights on red, no reprieve from the constant passing of pedestrians.

I bought a book on natural cures for ADD today, for Kyle my kid brother...and for my friend's boyfriend. I won't get on a rant about what I really think ADD is and how the mind is such an unknown place to most doctors, but I'll save it for later, that's a sure thing.

My ipod is officially broken. I have no more sound at any time. (It started with no output to earphones, and now it doesn't play from USB either). I'm going to take it to an Apple "Genius" this weekend and cry. No music while working out today means i'm listening to a noisy concert on my phone.

I went to health food store to find some type of detox cleanse for a loved one today... a very cool loved one who uses detox cleanses! :)

They evacuated Dundas and Yonge today, because someone left a bag of rocks in a corner....paranoid much? Welcome to Toronto/United States of America.

On a more serious note...one of my amnesty letters is going to Iran (I write letters for Amnesty for various human rights issues) to stop the execution of a lady who killed her husband after years of abuse. Here's the real deal: If you abuse your wife for years and take away her basic rights, you deserve it.

Readings for school now...See everyone soon.

A short one

Work days aren't the easiest to blog... Mona had an interview at my work today, and I'm hoping she gets the job so she feels more settled in Toronto as quickly as possible..She's bilingual though, so I'm sure she'll find something very quickly.

House was a good one tonight.

We got our place in Forest Hill so November will be the big move, and hopefully the final one where my kittens and I are reunited.

I exercised 35 minutes on my lunch break, so it's officially day 3 of exercise. My ipod is playing games with me, it plays just fine when i plug it in the car, or if i am standing in front of the future shop repair desk, but when i get to the gym and need it most, it refuses to put out sound.
Time to call Apple it seems, it's only a few months old.

Here is a link to a great read pegged by mg: http://www.matthewgood.org/2008/09/norman-solomon-gets-it-devastatingly-right/

Bed time.
Music: Smashing Pumpkins-Drown.

Fall

Ohh it's fall and i'm very happy to say I adore this weather.
I wasn't able to sleep last night until 4am due to the regulars of insomnia and also because my roomie and i spent hours up scheming about Jungian Psychology and how it applies to the world and a select few of our interests. We were both deciding what to do with our lives after school and we got to speaking about gifted children and how it would be a relief to work with them rather than the stress that is profiling criminals... To tell you the truth i haven't figured out what to do...work with children, one on one in clinical therapy or try to go the forensic route or research route....
I have time to decide but have since decided i will do my phd while having a family, if all goes as planned.
I kept up my exercise promise today, hitting the gym for 40 minutes of cardio, and also my promise of veganism... 10 points for me :)
MG mentions Rene Levesque today and so I became all nostalgic of my hometown... I am not sure if Quebecers ever do adapt to Toronto but I know I'm doing my best and that both places have their pros and cons..
Readings: Research in Psychological Journals for a paper due next week...
Music: Mariah Carey : Side Effects.

A system that has failed us..a heart that breaks, again.

I have a tendency to think a lot. I usually do most of this thinking at night. Today I spoke to my kid brother, who is my father's son, and who lives in Dubai. His innocence is just so adorable and refreshing. The situation he is in just breaks my heart and it never ceases to amaze me how someone's own parent can take their heart and turn it off. My only dream for him is that he comes out of his situation with a stronger and more empathetic character than most. I don't doubt this will be nearly impossibe for him and had I the means to give him a better life without sacrificing my Education, I would do so in a heartbeat. I would treat him as my own, without a second's hesitation.
Also, yesterday, I gave $25 to a disabled and impoverished man so he could take a taxi home (Some may call me naive, but whatever he chose to do with the money is his choice, I only thought of what he might have lived that landed him in this situation, and how lucky I am to have not lived it, and it was enough for me). I asked him about adaptive transportation, and he mentioned that it's not very reliable and rarely comes by. That conversation just lead me to thinking of the widespread injustices that are far away and also right in front of us. How can our government help overseas when we can't even figure out our own issues, right here in Canada, and right here in our own families?
I think if I were to become financially stable, my first instinct would be to have a number of adoptive children and animals. I know that I am not the first person, nor will I be the last, that feels for those less fortunate and in abusive situations, but many, through no fault of their own, end up realising how impossible this desire to help is to fulfill, when time constraints and society's norms get in the way.
I hope to be one of the few that doesn't let this stop her from following her instincts, but i know what i'm up against realistically, and this causes me a great deal of sadness.

Along for the Ride....

This morning I found a snail hanging out on the hood of my car. I thought he wouldn't be able to hang on but I drove around the whole day and he made it! Those little guys must have real suction power...

I went swimming for a few hours today at school...Swimming is a skill you never really lose. I have a lifeguarding certification but lifeguarding isn't very interesting seeing that no one really drowns in pools anymore. They never did on my clock at least. Either way it was great exercise and I feel really compelled to make it a habit now.

Mom and Kimo

Fresh

I am a very strong advocate for animal rights...and have been since I was little and screamed and cried outside the SPCA until my mom and dad agreed to take the Akita puppy the SPCA was just about to put down, home. (Kimo is still my best friend 15 years later, and fiercely loyal to me as I am to him). Fresh on Bloor is one of my favorite restaurants because I used to be Vegan. In 2006 my health was optimal and exercise was a priority. Then, after college came the real world and working a full time job, living on my own and studying part-time to apply to Universities became my life. There was less time for preparation and Veganism is hard to keep u when you're out of the environment and have serious time constraints. After eating at Fresh today I've decided to gradually find my way back to eating cruelty-free and healthy. I never fully went back to red meat or chicken, but I definitely wasn't health conscious anymore or as cruelty conscious. I already exercise 4x's a week but it's nothing like it used to be. (It's quick 30 minute sessions whereas beforehand I hit the gym in two hour intervals, no less). Toronto's transit system is decent like Montreal's, so ideally I'll also be able to drive less as well.
All this to say, I was thinking that the lifestyle i lead in 2006 was the best, and being in the medical field, I see how important it is to make health your priority, because when you're sick, nothing else matters.

The never ending cold

The room I'm staying in isn't kind to my nose! I've only been here a month and have gotten sick two or three times. Granted, moving is an extremely stressful event and I've been flying home a few times, which never helps (FEAR of flying) but it's quite annoying to be sick all the time, either way.
This morning I signed a lease in Forest Hill and it was a bitter sweet feeling because I do enjoy the person I'm living with and am not sure I want to move again.
That and Toronto's housing prices are outrageous compared to Montreal, no matter where you are, and it has taken months to find a reasonably priced place. (My apologies to any Vancouver readers who might be laughing at me right now).
Today is paper writing day, all day and so I'm at the York library doing research.

Music: Stars,In our bedroom after the War.
Readings: Forensic Psychology, Themes and Variations.

Music Fetish

House and

I walked to Future Shop tonight to buy season 4 of House and ended up buying a few other DVD's to pass the time. (Criminal Minds and Swordfish). I'm usually not a big fan of watching tv but there comes a point in time where you need a distraction from the routine of things. Speaking of distractions, I received a few flattering emails this evening and also one from a newish friend who took the time to relate an experience that made certain events in my life a little easier.
My best friend has now moved to the city to be with her boyfriend (she honestly filled her car with winter coats and shoes and needs to go back to Montreal about a trillion other times to fit all her wardrobe in the car! I'm very excited about having her here even though I have been enjoying my solitude for a few months now, it's a welcomed break to have someone you trust around. Of course there have been great new people, but nothing is like an old friend.
The weekend will be full of catching up on school readings and papers!
Back to House.

7:30 AM is not my idea of a happy hour

This post has nothing to do with drinking at 7:30 am. (Disclaimer). So for anyone reading that was anxiously awaiting tales of a drunken morning, sorry!

I coaxed myself out of bed this morning, thinking about feeling tired and not wanting to go to class. ("Be a responsible adult Miranda, honestly! Tired is a small price to pay for this opportunity!"). Who in their right minds chooses an 8:30 am Friday class!? Well I remember: the same person who works three days a week, 30 hours and has no days or hours left but mornings on Friday, for school. What a run on sentence masked by commas. Ms.Demello from grade seven English would be appalled by how little I've retained. I almost failed grade seven English, coming from a French Elementary school (not immersion but pure Quebecois French learning). My mom convinced them I'd survive grade eight without the level of written English normally required, and they passed me. Bless her.

Everyday I have to look for a new elastic from the elastic box, because I can never remember where I put the last one the night before. Every week a new one is found in a strange location (under the bed, in between the car seats, in the sink...).
My family can attest to how disorganised I have always been. What they found cute totally scared everyone else (teachers, friends, roomates, boyfriend). I honestly have gotten a lot better, but some things will never change. La plus ca change....

I like the cold and hate the heat. This is an awesome month and October will be even better!
Stay tuned.

9:11 Thursday

I float around after a long day and realise the razor holder has moved up a few feet, just out of reach. Grr. I wonder why i'm so creative while in the shower or bath, but cannot remember a thing to say when i step out.
There is a friend of mine who has disappointed me this week. I keep trying to remember that expectation is what disappoints us, and not usually the person themselves. You come to expect a certain behaviour and when it is not handed to you on a silver platter, you come to resent the person who has taken it away. I imagine this is what it feels like to be sensitive to changes in environment. I believe this is my gift and my curse. I read an attending physicians statement today at work, a psychatrists..of a patient. I dispised it. If this is what Psychology will be like, if i must classify people and caricaturise them and put them into little boxes, I am changing professions fast. No way will i be that kind of doctor. No amount of money or state pressure will force me into this. I met a nice man today who is studying to do the same thing, and who also shared my experience of being trapped between English and French as a child, and it was good talking to him.
CM will be a welcomed break tonight. Au Revoir.

2nd shot

There is more than one reason I'm here. Ask anyone and it has always been my dream. Not to be here, but rather to be doing what I'm doing. I've always been okay being anywhere as long as I'm doing what I love. Connections are formed, and then broken, and only sometimes maintained.
If you ask me if i thought I'd have gotten here, there was a time where i would have said yes, but for an even longer period of time, i would have said no. Too many turns in the opposite direction, how would i recover, and how would i follow through? Too much innocence lost, too much hereditary, pathology, influence. Too much sensitivity to put myself first.
Here I am, nonetheless, and this is it. My time to shine, to follow through, to succeed.
Here I am and as I float around in this dream, and wonder how I possibly made it through, I feel
I know who my true friends are, and not another soul matters enough to stand in the way.